26 April. I’m at the airport in Vancouver waiting for my flight to Tokyo. Alone.
It’s been such a rollercoaster getting to this point – recovering from hip replacement surgery last September, committing to a three-week Intrepid Travel tour through China, making plans to travel independently for two or three weeks in Japan before going to China, suddenly discovering I’m to do all of this alone with Don being unable to travel at the moment, all with no idea really if I’d be strong and fit enough physically for such an undertaking. Or strong and fit enough emotionally.
In my twenties and thirties I frequently travelled alone. I didn’t really know any other way, and never thought anything of it. If I wanted to go somewhere I did. It’s not that I never got nervous; I just didn’t let it stop me. I guess the same still holds true, but what’s clear now, after twenty years together, is how much I have come to depend on Don. He’s always there to pick up the slack. And now he isn’t. Clearly it’s time for me to relearn that I am capable.
Yesterday I felt as if I was being kicked out of the nest. It was a really scary feeling; a feeling of having to take a giant leap into the unknown, into a void, and hoping I’d learn to fly on the way down with no idea whether I would or not. Heck, even sprouting wings would be a start. Then I remembered Byron Katie’s most important question: Who would I be (how would I feel) without these thoughts? Simply asking the question was enough for the feeling to evaporate. And this morning at the airport as Don and I walked holding hands to the baggage drop-off I said I felt like a child holding hands with my dad. We both laughed, but it was revealing of a momentary sense of vulnerability, and of how much I rely on him.
In the last few weeks I’ve (somewhat) learned my way around a smart phone for the first time, activated an Instagram account that has lain dormant for years, learned my way around a new camera, done most of the research for my trip, engaged with people in Japan and China who I will meet with when I get there. Ha! I even got my laptop synched with our printer so I could do my own printing. This is how much I relied on Don. If I wanted something printed I’d send it to him and he’d print it for me. Seriously. Yesterday I achieved the monumental task of checking in online for my flight and printing out my boarding pass. All by myself. Yay me!
Now here I sit, a mixture of calm, nervous, and excited. I feel capable and strong, and in exactly in the right place. And that’s it! No matter what emotional turmoil I’ve been through over the past several months, I never doubted that this was meant to be. It’s no accident that I’m travelling alone even though neither of us would have consciously chosen it. Circumstances simply arose that way. Don and I both will no doubt discover much about who we are through being separated for seven weeks. It’s all good.
My mantras for this journey: Let it be easy, young strong fit and healthy, trust yourself, trust the unfolding. There’s so much to trusting the unfolding. It is about surrender. It is about making plans but not being attached to the outcome. It is about Life having it’s own plan and it’s own rules, and when I am in tune with that all will be well. It is about presence, and it is about listening with the heart.
I’m so excited! And that’s always an indication that I’m on the right path.
27 April. I’m writing this while on the Narita Express from the airport to Tokyo. The flight was uneventful and my passage through immigration and customs was smooth and relatively quick.
I found my way easily enough from the baggage carousel to machines selling tickets for the Narita Express. I knew they’d have an English option but I wasn’t sure what kind of cash I’d need so opted to stand in a line leading to a counter where I could buy a ticket from an actual person. I was fairly sure I was in the right line but decided to test out the translation app on my phone. I typed in “Can I buy a ticket for the Narita Express in this line?” I tapped the shoulder of a young man in front of me and showed him the Japanese characters. As he read them I read the English. Oh God! Oh no! Autocorrect had changed Narita to marital! I was asking a twentysomething kid about the marital express! No wonder he looked bewildered. Or was that embarrassment? At the time I was more concerned about correcting it so I could get an answer. But now every time I think of it I start laughing.
Anyway it was the right line, I got a ticket, and eventually arrived at the madness of Tokyo Station at rush hour. Here I had to find the right exit to get a taxi to my hotel. Amidst the crowds rushing in every direction, surrounded by a myriad of signs and directions and stairs and escalators, at first I just stood. Then I walked slowly, easing my way carefully through and around hundreds of swarming people. Eventually I found a map of the station. I stood staring at it. I could see where I was, and I could see the exit I needed, which was about as far away as you could get and still be in Tokyo Station. What I couldn’t figure out was how to get there. Suddenly there was a young man next to me asking if I needed help. What sweet serendipity.
So I got the help I needed, was delivered to my hotel, and made myself stay awake for a couple more hours to adjust to Japan time, then fell into bed.
I made it.
Photos: the opening shot is of the fabulous aquarium at Vancouver airport with liberal use of colour enhancement in Lightroom, and the closing shot is the first photo I took in Japan. It’s the entrance to Ōkunitama Shrine in Fuchu.
Next post: Much ado about Tokyo of course. It’s only day three and such a lot has happened: a fabulous guide-for-a-day, an “Ugly American”, a traditional wedding, and insane crowds.
All words and images by Alison Louise Armstrong unless otherwise noted
© Alison Louise Armstrong and Adventures in Wonderland – a pilgrimage of the heart, 2010-2018.
So you are in Japan already! Oh but all the luck in the world. I bet you are having a wonderful time on your own and pushing the boundaries by travelling on your own all over again 🙂
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Thank you so much DDG. I’ve been here 9 days now and the longer I’m here the more I love it. I’m having a fabulous time!
Alison
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Hi, Alison, I try not to make you think that I am pushing you. But since Japan is close to Taiwan, perhaps you would like to come? Now it is the season for galaxy photo, maybe you would be interested.
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Oh Kenny we did think about it, but decided it would be just too much extra expense, and too much time away from home. But I do think I will come back to Japan, and next time it will be with Don, and perhaps then will be the right time to come visit. We’ve not forgotten you!
Alison
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Well done
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Thank you.
Alison
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I made two of my first three extended trips alone, but have traveled with my wife for 12 years now. I really can’t imagine traveling with anyone else, and I can’t imagine traveling without her. I can only imagine how much separation anxiety you must have felt, how odd it must have been.
It seems like those serendipitous moments of help arrive when you most need them. Some of my best memories of China were of standing helplessly trying to read the signs and having an angel appear to lead the way.
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Separation anxiety just about says it all. I had no idea how much I’d miss Don. I think I’ll be better at it next time, knowing what to expect, but God it was hard travelling without him.
I love the serendipity that comes when travelling. It always amazes me. And reminds me how lucky I am.
Alison
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Alison, This is so exciting! For those of us who usually travel with a partner, heading out on your own can be exhilarating and daunting. And even more challenging after going through a major surgery. I know the first big trip I took after my knee replacement, I kept reminding myself, “You can do this!” I know I’m late to the party here (your trip), but I’m looking forward to catching up. Can’t wait. 🙂 All the best, Terri
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Thanks Terri. I’m glad to hear your knee replacement went well. I suspect there may be one in my future though I hope not. I’m holding off as long as I can on that one. How was your recovery? Did it take forever?
I found it really challenging travelling without Don, but know I’ll do better next time.
Alison
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Alison, I was very loyal to my physical therapy for a year – that really paid off. My biggest challenge was that I had a horrible reaction to the anesthesia and subsequent meds. Turns out I’m highly allergic to opioids – who knew – but I guess that’s a good thing. Anyway, I went home the day of my surgery, and James was the best caregiver in the world. Poor guy, we were living in a tiny townhouse with the bedrooms upstairs, but I couldn’t do stairs. So we got a cot for me and he slept on the floor. Now that’s love.
I’m still very numb from the knee down, so I think those nerves are shot. But the great news is that my knee doesn’t buckle on me any more and throw me to the ground. I really like that.
It sounds like your recovery went really well. Did you have any problems? ~Terri
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Wow, what an ordeal you went through. My sister had hip replacement and was allergic to all the pain meds and had a really tough time, but I hear the pain is even worse with knees. It must have been a really tough time for you. James sounds like a living saint! As was Don with my surgery. We are so lucky to have such amazing partners. I think those nerves may gradually recover. I have a friend who had a benign tutor removed from her spine and she had numbness issues down her leg for a long time then gradually it all came back again. But even if not at least, as you say, you’re mobile again! My recovery went very well, but even now a year later I’m still working on healing muscle imbalance, and seeing a therapist, due to having favoured the injured (right) side for so long. Just about every muscle on the left side from hip to ankle was overused and working in the wrong way. But – I must say I’m significantly recovered and in Japan and China for nearly 7 weeks I walked 10 to 15 km (6-9m) most days and 18 (11m) on one day so I have to say I’m doing pretty well.
A.
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Amazing! You are definitely doing really well. I know what you mean about the muscle imbalance from favoring the other side. Me too. My biggest adjustment was learning to trust my new knee – I was so used to the old one throwing me to the ground. And you’re right – our guys are saints! 🙂 ~T
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Since I was behind in the flow of your adventures, when I read the festival post, I became concerned because it was apparent that you were solo. I searched back until I found the reason. I love your use of Byron Katie’s words. I find those very ones so helpful to me, in daily life at home and away on adventures too! Beautiful, A, you are!
marga
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Thanks Marga ❤ Travelling solo was challenging to say the least. I'll be better at it if there's a next time now I've had practice. I too love Byron Katie's teachings. She's such a clear being. Don had a medical issue that is now resolved, but at the time he felt it would be too big a risk to travel, especially to China.
Alison xox
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So happy for the resolution of the issue, and for your courage and beauty in motion in the world solo for a bit. Inspiring. xx
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