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Classic hot pot meal in Chengdu, China
An article I wrote for Intrepid Travel has just been published in The Journal, by Intrepid Travel.
I recently wrote about how unsettling it was travelling without Don. This article for Intrepid is its compliment, an account of how much better it was once I started travelling with a group of fellow-explorers in China; how having company helped ease my sense of aloneness. It didn’t stop me from missing Don, but it sure helped.
Hop on over to Intrepid and have a read.
THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF TRAVELLING CHINA WITHOUT MY HUSBAND
Namaste at the top of Emei Shan, one of four mountains in China sacred to Buddhists.
All words and images by Alison Louise Armstrong unless otherwise noted
© Alison Louise Armstrong and Adventures in Wonderland – a pilgrimage of the heart, 2010-2018.
Adventures in Wonderland 
Great to know you’re getting there!
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Thanks Peggy. It really helped having other people to travel with.
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Your article confirms that. A great job.
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Great story, ahhh memories!!
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Thanks Mieke. Yes, so many memories. I’m having so much fun going back through my notes and photos. Have just finished an article on Xi’an, which should be published near the end of Aug.
Alison
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Travelling ‘solo’ in company is definitely my preferred choice too!! I did some great trips in China, most of them organised trips. It’s where you meet like-minded and interesting people… And when I travel on my own, I find hostels are much better than hotels; you meet new companions all the time and very seldom travel entirely solo… Human are social beings, most of us need company to get through the adventure of life…
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I agree – “travelling ‘solo’ in company” is the best of both worlds!
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I travelled completely alone in Japan and I was alone most of the time. In the hostels most of the people were way younger than me and mostly had their faces in their devices, as did I 🙂 also I was feeling quite shy so didn’t approach people often. Being with a group in China was so much more fun. On the other hand I travelled alone in my 20’s and 30’s and met people ALL the time! I was never alone. So it’s probably just me 🙂
Alison
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As I noted above, traveling alone but part of a small, like-minded group can be a perfect combination! I have done many of my longer hikes this way when my husband J has been unable to take as much time off work as I could, and I did my 3-week trip to China solo from home but in a great group once there. The alone time at the end of the day was appreciated, but the companionship and camaraderie during the day was so important for my social (and even learning) needs. Glad you found this type of travel palatable as well; I’ll go read more about it now!
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“The alone time at the end of the day was appreciated, but the companionship and camaraderie during the day was so important for my social (and even learning) needs.” This is exactly how it was for me. I really needed my alone time at night, but the days with fellow travellers were great.
Alison
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What a cheery group! 🙂 🙂 Will do!
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Yes, it will do very nicely! And yes, it was a cheery group. I think I was the only (occasionally) curmudgeon 🙂
Alison
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🙂
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Very interesting. Lots of food for thought. I have a bit of a ‘fear’ of groups after a bad experience years ago, when a friend and I were put with a group of people who didn’t want us on the trip at all – so much so, they insisted on separate camps/meals etc. This group sounds so good – and also with such an age range – surprising. Your post also makes me think I should pay more attention to things that I usually let Jim do – we have – I think – more or less the same division of tasks that you and Don do. It’s so easy to fall into a pattern. Maybe it’s good sometimes to shake that up. Thanks Alison.
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OMG! Insisting on separate camps and meals! Did they think you had the plague? I can’t even imagine anyone doing such a thing. How rude! No wonder you’re wary of travelling with groups. We had a slightly similar thing in Jordan when 2 of the people in the group made it clear they didn’t really want anything to do with me and Don, but nothing remotely like what you experienced.
I did luck into a good group – really lovely people.
This trip really shook up the assigned tasks since Don wasn’t there. I had to figure out how to do it all for myself, though for sure I relied on the guide (Don substitute for directions and logistics) a bit too much at the beginning.
Alison
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I can emphasise totally with you Alison. I travelled 6 weeks on the trans Mongolian to UK on my own but in a group of amazing people, then again for 3 weeks through India. Both incredible experiences but yes I still missed Jack China is a, I think, a totally different experience to what I remember 28 years ago. I look forward to hearing more of your time there and of course more photos…
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I was in China 40 years ago, and yes, it’s a very different place. The cities at least are very modern. Both your trips sound fabulous. It’s so much fun when you have a good group which I’ve experienced a few times now (and one not so good). Lots more to come about China.
Alison
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Good I’ll look forward to seeing China through your eyes Alison
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Oops meant empathise, google corrections!!!
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So glad to read that this worked out so well for you Allison. I have never ever travelled as part of a group other than at the age of 16, so I have no experience with any of it, but looks like you found a good one!
Peta
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Thanks Peta. It worked out really well.
I did a four month overland trip through South America back in my 20’s. There were 24 of us living in a truck and camping. It was an amazing group of people and we all got on well and had a fabulous time. Then I did a four month overland expedition from Johannesburg to London, again truck and camping. This time there were only 12 of us with one person who was a total PITA, and I also was somewhat lacking in grace myself in those days. Overall we did well considering, and that trek through Africa remains one of the highlights of my life.
Don and I always travelled independently until Jordan and Egypt. We chose a tour in Jordan because the transportation infrastructure is not good, and a tour in Egypt for security reasons. Both groups were wonderful people/wide age range/fun to be with. Don and I always said we’d do a tour in China because of the difficulties of communication. Very little English is spoken, even in the cities. I generally find that most people who choose adventure travel know how to behave in a group. In some circumstances it can be the best option.
Alison
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What’s in the bowl in the middle of the table?
I’m guessing corn chowder or something like it, with chili garlic sauce (or something like it)?
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Nope, neither. It’s a traditional Chinese hot pot which can be had with chilli (usually) or without. We had a chilli broth in the middle and a regular broth on the outside because some people in the group won’t each spicy food (me!). There is a fire under the pot and the broth is kept simmering. Dishes are served raw – platters of different meats and vegetables – and cooked at the table in the broth. It’s really good. This one was in Chengdu. I also had one in Beijing with the Intrepid area manager there and that one was even better – with a really good sesame sauce.
Alison
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Great article Alison. I can’t imagine not traveling without my husband of 20 years as well. What a great and exciting experience for you. 🙂
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Thanks so much Lorelle. It truly was an amazing experience. I discovered that I missed Don more than I would have imagined AND that I could have a fabulous time without him travelling with a group of like-minded people .
Alison
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I reckon I would feel exactly the same Alison. 👍🏼😊
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What an encouraging read – I must admit I’m not sure how I’d go travelling alone but with an organised trip and a lovely group I think I’d be fine. We are only at the beginning of our travelling adventures, 16 months with just the two of us but you definitely get so much closer and become a formidable team! Good on you and hope both your medical issues sort themselves out. Thanks again for a great honest article.
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Thanks so much Michelle (I’m guessing it’s you and not Lars). This was a lovely group so I was lucky that way but I think you’re mostly guaranteed it because of the kinds of people that sign up for adventure travel.
Congratulations on your dive out of the box and into a more authentic life. I certainly know what you mean about getting closer when you’re together 24/7!
I’m pretty fit and strong these days and Don’s definitely on the mend so we’ll be off travelling again fairly soon I think.
Alison
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Sorry – yes, Michelle x So pleased to hear you are both on the mend and ready to set off on your travels again sometime soon.🤗
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Wonderful read, Alison. The trips to Asia I did on my own were the most intense of my life… I´d never like to miss this experience – but I had no partner at home to miss then.
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Thanks Carsten. I agree with you that I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this journey no matter how stressful it was, or how much I missed Don. it was so worth it. I really understand how intense it can get travelling alone!
Alison
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Alison, I have no doubt that you made Don proud. Not only did you pick up the responsibilities of wayfinding and booking accommodation, but you clearly went far out of your comfort zone in Japan and China.
I haven’t done group tours or trips for a while now, but judging from your report I know Intrepid would be one of my first choices. Having a diverse range of ages in the same group can only be a good thing; I feel like the wisdom and experience of the older members balances out the craziness (or in some cases, naivete) of the younger folks.
I remember one trip I did in my early twenties to the Canary Islands (Tenerife) with two of my fellow classmates. We stayed at a hostel and had a blast with a group of interesting people from Austria, Germany, and the U.S. (California) who were all of different ages; I think the oldest was in his late 50s. We took excursions together, went out for meals and had wine on the hostel rooftop on our last night. That was something special and I wish I’d kept in touch with at least some of those people.
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Thanks James. I definitely learned how to do all the logistics and relearned that I’m capable, and then to join a group in China after being alone for so long in Japan really helped. Don says he’s proud and impressed!
It’s certainly been my experience that Intrepid is a good choice. And I really enjoyed the age range. Boy the 30something couple in our group were *really* intrepid, so I was glad to have others who were a tad more cautious to hang out with.
Your time in Tenerife sounds magical!
Alison
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Excellent article. So glad you were with a good group. It makes all the difference.
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Thanks so much Darlene. It was a really good group, and yes, it made all the difference. Good people.
Alison
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I don’t think it was luck that got you that group. I think you attracted them with your own lovely energy.
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Awww thanks Leigh. Being with a group of good people sure made things easier.
Alison
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Wow how I loved this post Alison. I bet it was so wonderful to meet an entire group of friends to be in such a new place. I would love to do something like this some day. Does Intrepid offer other shorter tours? I normally do jump on solo as Paul can’t travel much especially now with his bad back situation. I can’t imagine being away from him for as long as you were away from Don. I bet it was very hard. Did you Skype a lot? Wonderful post. You are such a gifted writer and photographer!
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Thank you so much Nicole! It was so good to join the group in China. Intrepid does indeed offer shorter tours. In China for sure they have one and two week tours as well as this one that I did. It was really really hard being away from Don from so long. I think I’ll do better next time, but I would not go for so long again. I think 4 weeks would be the max. We face-timed just about every day. It helped. Thank you so much for your lovely compliments! Much appreciated.
Alison
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Yes I can’t imagine being away that long. Would love to try an Intrepid trip someday. 🙂
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I think travelling alone gives you more possibilities to really meet new people.
And in the end you both have new experiences to bring to your relationship spending some time apart that you can share later. I’m sure your relationship will grow from that.
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I know that when Don and I travel together we don’t meet people as easily since we have each other, and I’ve heard other couples say the same. We really enjoyed the times we’ve travelled together with a group – it really brought us out of our shells.
Our relationship has definitely grown from this time apart. We’re even closer now.
Alison
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That is good to hear. I’m looking forward to reading of your next travels.
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It’s an excellent article Alison and it definitely gets one thinking . Dave and i have been together for almost 40 years. The only solo travel I have done has been very short term. I can see how doing a group tour like this one with Intrepid would ease the pain of being alone.
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Thanks so much Sue. It really helped being with a group in China, especially since I’d just had nearly 3 weeks alone in Japan, and didn’t really reach out to people – partly feeling shy and partly not enough energy so collapsing in my room every night and partly spending spare time writing and photo editing. Being with a group brought me out of myself a lot.
Alison
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wonderful for foodies
and non-foodies, alike!
congratulations on
making friends
and being published 🙂
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Thank you.
It was fun.
Don wins
but others help
around the table
and on the trains 🙂
Alison
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Alison, great article on solo travel and congrats on being published. This topic is something that Terri and I can relate to. Each of us traveled solo constantly in our corporate lives, and also to a lesser extent since then. We know that we can both do it, but we absolutley choose not to. In addition to missing the companionship, we miss the shared experience. As you know, a huge part of travel is new experiences, and we find that discussing the travel experiences with each other is just important has having the experience. ~James
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Thanks so much James. I so bereft without Don. I didn’t have my buddy to share everything with! So I know exactly what you mean. I do think I’ll do better if there’s a next time I travel solo. And then things definitely improved when I joined the group in China.
Alison
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Congratulations on the article Alison! As always, you have written a heartfelt, beautiful piece. I can only imagine I would feel the same traveling without Terry. I may experience that sooner than I had planned as I see him start to slow down and not want to travel as much. I am not ready for this yet!
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Thanks so much LuAnn. I must admit it was really a shock travelling without Don. The group in China definitely helped, but, well, it’s just not the same. I was not ready for it either, and we still hope to travel more together, but at least now I feel more prepared for more solo trips.
Alison
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Great article Alison. Thank you for the article on Intrepid. Might give them a go in South Africa later this year.
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Thanks Lisa. Intrepid is a terrific company. I’d recommend them any time – for good tours and for responsible travel.
Alison
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And I also appreciate you sharing your experiences and your teachings 🤓☺️ have a happy Sunday too enjoy each other 🤗
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Thanks Hedy. It was good to be with a group in China. Better than being completely alone like I was in Japan.
Alison
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and Japan…does have a different energy…your photographs are stunning Alison…and I appreciate your narratives…have a happy day with Don ☺️💫✌️☀️❤️
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Wonderful stories, Alison. I am catching up on your Japan-China adventures and really enjoy these articles you have done for Intrepid. Well done, both the travelling and the writing 😉
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Thanks so much Susan. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the Intrepid articles. It’s a different kind of writing for me in that the topics are suggested by Intrepid, and that I can only do 1000 words. Eventually I’ll write about China in a lot more detail. It was an amazing adventure. Sooooo many stories to tell, and I haven’t even finished all the stories from Japan yet!.
Alison
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