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#WPLongform, garbage collection, Indian porters, Indian traffic, Kirin Vilas Hotel Jodphur, photography, scams, touts, train to Koh Samui, travel
Oct 29 – Dec 9, 2012. For those of you who have been following our stories about our time travelling around India you will know that we loved it and had an amazing time there. Most, but not all, of what follows is the other side of the story.
A rant about the garbage. Let’s get that out of the way first. I’ve travelled to many countries, including many third world countries. Nowhere else is like India. Most countries have public garbage bins. Heck even poverty stricken Cambodia and Laos have public garbage bins. In India it really is: just put it anywhere, drop it wherever you happen to be, throw it out the window. There’s absolutely no concept of putting it in a garbage bin, or taking it home to put it in the garbage bin. No concept even of garbage bins really. Consequently the streets are always covered in garbage, and there are whole areas that become kind of dumping grounds until the garbage truck comes along to collect it all, or burn it. It’s not that the garbage is left there, well not forever anyway, and there are street cleaners,fighting a losing battle, but it seems the garbage always wins because there’s no thought, none, of trying to be tidy about it. Maybe there’s so much garbage everywhere that it doesn’t even register anymore. Maybe it’s considered beneath everyone, except Untouchables, to have anything to do with it. Just throw it down; the Untouchables will clean it up, it’s not my job. I remember a scene from the movie Ghandi where he suggests to his wife that she help with cleaning the toilets. She’s horrified, saying it’s the job of the Untouchables. He, of course, points out that all are equal, and all must contribute, or words to that affect. But maybe that attitude still runs deep in the Indian psyche – this idea that everyone is better than the Untouchables and they are the ones who have to deal with the garbage. I’m just surmising here, but seriously there has to be some reason that a whole nation of otherwise relatively clean and aesthetically and artistically aware people are willing to live surrounded by garbage and dirt.
Garbage collection
One thing I learned. There are thousands, probably millions, of people in India, usually young people, frequently children, whose job it is to get you to buy something. It doesn’t matter where you are they are there and have something in their hands to sell – trinkets, postcards, stickers, whatever – or they have a relative nearby who has a shop and it’s their job to get you to the shop, or they have a vehicle and want you to hire them to take you somewhere in their boat or tuk tuk or bicycle rickshaw, or they have a baby and want infant formula for the baby, and on it goes. They don’t hear “no thanks”. They don’t hear “no” at all. The methodology is to simply wear you down. They will follow you to hell and back if it may mean a sale, and it doesn’t matter how often you say no, it doesn’t compute. I’m normally quite patient, and was not really bothered by them or their persistence, but after several weeks in India it began to get old. I got worn down but not in the way they wanted. I got to the point that I would actually raise my voice and look at them and shout “NO”. That worked, but it didn’t feel good for anyone. It made me feel sad. At around this time something suddenly arose in me. Where do thoughts come from? I have no idea but this one felt like it came from a truth I know but had forgotten in our travelling frenzy around India. I had the thought that I had to recognize the person who was speaking to me. How simple. How obvious. From then on as soon as someone tried to sell me something and started following us, I would turn to them, look them directly in the eyes and see the person there. I’d touch their arm. And then simply tell them I didn’t want what they were selling. It worked every time. They were seen. And I was heard. I wish I’d realized earlier, but what can I say, sometimes I’m a slow learner.
I should also add Don made the decision to take the lady with the baby to a store and bought her a big box of infant formula. What a sweet and happy moment that was for all of us, even if it was probably a scam as we later found out. The formula would be returned to the shop owner, and the mother would get a, probably small, percentage of what we had paid for it.
India is such an incomprehensible combination of the most profound devotion and spirituality you will ever encounter, and the most cruel, evil and dire poverty and suffering. How does that all get stuffed into one package? How does that work? Such an exquisite and unavoidable “in-your-face” illustration of duality. It’s so easy to love India, and so easy to hate it. Some weeks later, having dinner with two other itinerant couples, all of whom had spent time in India, we discovered that all the women would go back in a heartbeat, and all the men said “never again”, and this is talking about a country which is surely on record as one of the worst in its treatment of women.
There are many many stories out there about being ripped off in India. And there’s no denying many Indians will do whatever they can to get as much money out of you as possible. And yes, we were ripped of – particularly by the owner of the Kirin Vilas hotel in Jodhpur. But I am delighted to be able to say I have an “honest Indian” story. We got a train from Jaipur to Jodhpur. It was an all day journey. We sat on the lower bunks, and pushed all of our luggage onto the top bunks. We got off at Jodhpur and were organizing our luggage on the platform, conferring with a porter, when a man came off the train and approached us. He had my camera! It had gotten pushed to the back of the top bunk and I’d forgotten it. I am eternally grateful to that kind and honest Indian Angel. I would have been devastated to lose my camera. Deep gratitude.
Speaking of porters – we assumed the porter we were conferring with would have some kind of cart for all our cases, as had been the case at the station in Jaipur. But no. It was just him! Once we’d fixed on a price we were astonished, and I then felt both guilty and embarrassed, to see him lift one case onto his head, then another, then hook the pull-handle of a third over one shoulder and grab the fourth case in the other hand and set off down the station. A little later he put the pull-handle of the fourth case over the other shoulder. How could he carry so much weight? And how to deal with such a situation? I’m perfectly capable of pulling my case along myself but I think he would have been offended if I’d suggested it.
Really there’s very little to say about driving in India, except avoid it if you can, and especially avoid driving after dark which is just plain suicidal since many vehicles, and other things on the road such as people, cows, ox/donkey/camel/horse-drawn carts, tractors, and bicycles, have no lights. Street lighting is spotty at best and non-existent when there’s a power outage, which is not infrequent. And don’t have any concept that traffic goes in only one direction on each side of the street, even on divided highways. Traffic goes in whatever direction it can get away with. Always expect the unexpected. India has, not surprisingly, the highest road death rate in the world. Sigh.
From Don: Every hotel restaurant we have eaten at in India, serves the same jam; a sort of sweet-tasting dark blood-red goop with no detectable fruit flavor. We became convinced that in the deep backcountry of India there is a factory that makes this stuff and then sends it out to every hotel in the land in huge tanker trucks that roam the highways overnight. Imagine what it would be like if two of these trucks collided; an awful carnage with blood-red goop everywhere. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase traffic jam.
Another kind of traffic jam
There’s a great soulfulness in this country. A great devotion. A heartfelt and universal belief in the eternal nature of being. It’s probably the reason they can live with the poverty and the garbage and the suffering. And smile the brightest of smiles despite it all. I feel lucky to have experienced even a small part of their rich rich culture. There is good wherever you look for it, and we found plenty of it in India.
Leaving India
Fifteen minute walk from Varanasi Ghats to taxi, one-hour taxi ride to airport, hanging out at airport for flight to Delhi. Plane left late, arrived Delhi about 6pm ish. To hotel, then straight to 7 star Radisson Blu for their rather spectacular looking buffet. There were some nice things to eat. It cost, but the ambiance alone was worth it. Suddenly we weren’t in India anymore. Back to hotel, hanging out ‘til 11.30 pm, said good-bye to Julie who was going home the next morning, then off to airport. Well over an hour to check bags, and get through immigration and security. Hanging out some more. Nearly 3am flew to Bangkok. Slept a little on the plane. Arrived 8am, train to downtown train station, check into cheap hotel near station. Shower and change. It’s noon by now. Get a pastry and coffee at the train station. Back to hotel room, hanging out, Don snoozing. Back to train station by 3.30pm, pick up tickets and sit and wait.
Sai arrived. Sai is a very lovely Thai law student who just walked right up to us and asked if she could practice her English with us, so the time waiting for our train went very quickly as she learned some English from us and we learned some Thai from her. We learned the essential words in any language – hello, good-bye, please, thank you, I’m sorry, and how much?
Boarded train 4.30pm, overnight train, arrive 5am. I slept a little, Don slept well. We both agreed our six-dollar dinner on the train was better than what we’d paid sixty for the evening before. Breakfast at café near train station, bus at 8am, nearly two hours on bus, ferry at 10am, hour and a half on ferry, half hour taxi ride, then finally, finally we arrived at the Samui Beach Resort. Hooray! Two weeks on the beach, doing not much. Net time in transit forty-four and a half hours, and really worth it to get here. We needed to stop, rest, recharge our batteries, and recover from India.
The dining car on the train, which doesn’t even begin to convey the reality of it. It was all a bit run-down and shabby. All the windows were open and there was loud music blaring. The noise of the train coupled with the noise of the music was deafening. We had to shout. The service was quick and efficient. The servers danced to the music. The beer flowed freely and everyone but us was smoking. The food was plentiful and good. It felt like a party.
Finally we are in Thailand.
We found a lovely room, for a very reasonable price, at the quiet end of a quiet beach, and collapsed.
Next post: two weeks at the beach, and a lot of monks!
© All words and images by Alison Louise Armstrong unless otherwise noted.
© Alison Louise Armstrong and Adventures in Wonderland – a pilgrimage of the heart, 2010-2015.
Alison, enjoyed this post! Ah, the ever paradox of India! Our western conditioned minds can never begin to understand the hows and whys of India – we end up throwing up our hands and saying, “Well, that’s Indiaaaah!” Many “teachers” have called India the Heart of the planet – despite all the mess, that Heart sure is alive!
shanti….kai
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Thanks kai. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes the heart is very much alive. Such devotion from one end of the country to the other.
By the way I’m reading India Bites You Somehow. Is it you in it?
Blessings, Alison
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A & D, i learned a whole lot from your wrap up on India…i like your description on India: “Such an exquisite and unavoidable “in-your-face” illustration of duality. It’s so easy to love India, and so easy to hate it.”
thanks for sharing. ♥
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Thanks Sunshine. Yes it’s certainly an extraordinary place.
Thanks for the like and the follow. Hope you continue to enjoy our ramblings, both inner and outer.
Alison xo
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you are quite welcome. 😉
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Love, Don’s, traffic jam line.
I’ve thought the same thing about India–how the birthplace of 5? of the world’s biggest religions can be so divine and so petty at the same time.
I love your realization of how to “see” the beggars. I think we need to practice that authentic communication with everyone we meet, not just beggars.
Another insightful post. Thank you for sharing. Can’t wait to see the monks. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
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Thanks Kozo. India really is a conundrum isn’t it? No explaining it really.
Yes, I agree, we need to practice authentic communication, with everyone. I guess that’s part of what the blog is about for us – no holding back. We’ve been practising being completely self-revealing with each other for years. Now time to share it with the world. I certainly find the more I am willing to be self-revealing, and the more I’m willing to really see and hear the other person the better things work out. Still practising 🙂
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My favorite bit: “I had the thought that I had to recognize the person who was speaking to me.” And then you smacking-self-upside-the-head, so to speak. I guess the fact that this stood out to me in your post means I could use that smack too. It’s like “duh” so why is it so hard to get it and/or remember it? Gonna practice!
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Yeah, “duh”! That’s how I felt. It seems to take a bit for all of us to get that. Still practicing! Forget, then remember, forget then remember. One day it will really stick.
Hope to see you in Van – back on 11th for about 10 days – first week packed.
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Thanks for sharing your experiences in India, I’ve really enjoyed following your progress.
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Thanks Danny, glad you’ve enjoyed it all.
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Well…not all of it… HA! Just kidding, it’s been great.
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Seems like everyone has the same Indian experiences, enjoyed reading yout post. We are following you, did you notice?
Best,
Baerbel
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I hadn’t noticed you were following – for some reason I didn’t get an email about it. Thanks! I’ve also enjoyed reading about your travels through india – you were much more adventurous than we were!
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Wow, amazing. I really admired the realization you made about being seen and heard. I think that is what every human on the planet desires–to be seen and heard. Very profound and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.
Ivonne
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Thanks Yvonne. And you’re welcome. I agree with you, it’s what we all want, just to be really seen and heard. It happened again yesterday with a little girl in Yangon, Myanmar trying to sell me postcards. I made a connection with her, and fortunately had learned how to say “I’m sorry” in her language. That’s all that was needed. Still, it was sad, but an honest and authentic connection.
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So well written ! Your perspective on duality made me think of a popular film song that talks about the same attitude we Indians have !
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Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed it.
And, yes, I do think your country in the world’s greatest example of duality. It’s impossible to avoid it, and anyone who visits is affected by it.
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thank you as always for your honesty
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You’re welcome Kate.
Hugs from us.
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Loved reading about my country. Its undermined statement if you use duality, there are infinite layers, sometimes even we are surprised of the diversity in every aspect.
I belong to young India, and I want to change many things in India. It will gradually.
Recently I have traveled to 3-4 countries, I would like to convey through your blog that we are aligning ourselves with the world, especially the young Indians. But we still sometimes find ourselves not being looked at with respect, this needs to change, not every Indian is same!!!!
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Hello Nikhar, nice to meet you. Thank you so much for visiting our blog and for your thoughtful and heartfelt comment. I very much appreciate it.
I acknowledge that you must be right about there being many many layers to the Indian culture, and that as a foreigner with only 4 months experience of your country I’m sure I only scratched the surface. And I appreciate very much your passion and determination to bring about change. It can be so slow, but it is wonderful to hear of a new generation moving in a new direction. At the same time I must say – please don’t let India become another homogenous “western” country. There is so much about your culture that is to be admired, so rich and colourful.
Clean up the garbage, lose the caste system, especially get both men and women to treat females as equal to males, and get people to follow the road rules. That’s probably enough to start with – in other words overturn the entire culture. I don’t think that’s the answer either. Either way I admire you and your peers for your drive and passion to bring about change.
And, my friend, I do hear you – not every Indian is the same! I must also say that 99% of those we had direct contact with were very good people.
Blessings, and Namaste
Alison
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” There’s a great soulfulness in this country. A great devotion. A heartfelt and universal belief in the eternal nature of being. It’s probably the reason they can live with the poverty and the garbage and the suffering. And smile the brightest of smiles despite it all.”
thank you for these lines !
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You are very welcome. And please don’t get me wrong because I wrote what I felt was the truth of the ‘negative’ side of my experience there. I hope you read some other posts I’ve written about your country. I loved my time in India, and think of it often. There is a yearning to go back. It might be crowded and chaotic and messy, but there is something really really special about the people and the culture that calls to me. We lived in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu for 3 months, and then later travelled around the ‘Golden Triangle’ and to Varanasi for another 2 months. On that second journey my sister accompanied us and she has so fallen in love with your country that she has been back 3 times since.
Namaste
Alison
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Hi Alison and Don
It is one of the best post about India and it is the “positive” that I took from this post.
Regards
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Oh I’m so glad you took the positive. And I believe every country is made up of its *people* and almost all people are kind and caring and just want a peaceful life, a roof over their heads and enough food on the table. We found Indian people to be very friendly and very open – I guess that’s why my sister has been back 3 times 🙂
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A the delight of India where multiple realities co-exist! Enjoyed your insights into my adopted home. 🙂
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Thanks so much Carissa. India certainly is an eye opener, and I’m awed by any ‘westerners’ who choose to live there. We never did get to Mumbai. Maybe next time, if I can ever get Don back.
Alison
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You should! Tues eve we caught up with a couple we know from Montreal – the guy is a music journalist and they both keep coming back to India. They confessed that while there are always highlights each trip, Mumbai is the only place the simply HAVE to come back to as they enjoy it so much!
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Hi Alison,
A little too late to join the party. But it’s never too late for a good read! I have never quite read/heard such a balanced and objective perspective from a thorough outsider. It indeed was refreshing and a lovely read.
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Thank you so much Gargi. I loved India. Yes it’s confronting in many ways, but the life, the energy, the exuberant colour, the friendly people, the spirituality, and more – I found it enriching and transformative.
Alison
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